Twelve Gifts of Milton Keynes – The Rev’d Nicola Vidamour
- The Twelve Gifts of Milton Keynes
In the spirit of the twelve days of Christmas, I would like to use this series to reflect on the twelve gifts which Milton Keynes has given me since I moved here in the summer.
On the first day, Milton Keynes gave me the West Coast mainline. That might sound as though I wanted to escape as soon as I had arrived here! However, that was not the case. I associate this gift with the first day solely because my previous experience of the city had consisted almost entirely of seeing the platform of Milton Keynes Central Station from the window of a train. Now that I have discovered what lies beyond that, I have decided that there is very little reason to get on a train and go anywhere else!
Nevertheless, this weekend I will be travelling from Milton Keynes to Glasgow – direct in five hours and two minutes. I’m going to the annual Advent urban retreat at the Iona Community house in Glasgow with the Irish poet and theologian Pádraig Ó Tuama. This year, Pádraig is speaking about the work of R.S. Thomas.
I find that poetry is a bit like a train ride. It takes us on a journey to a different place. A poem gives us a glimpse through a window into a world which is both familiar and unknown. That world may be beyond us – on the other side of the glass. It may also be within us – the inner landscape of our own heart, mind and soul. Some poems have a rhythm and a rhyme – like the dum de dum de dum of the train track. Others are irregular and can jolt us around or bring us to an abrupt halt.
On the London Underground, there are sometimes poems displayed in the carriages, alongside the adverts offering what we don’t have and must surely be longing for. Perhaps poems are a kind of window shopping too? They invite us to be stationary for a moment and gaze at what is being presented to us.
- Ding dong merrily on high
On the second day, Milton Keynes gave me bells!
For the first (and probably the last) time in my ministry, I am serving churches which have bell towers. I have always loved the sound of church bells and find them incredibly appealing. (Note my choice of word there!)
After I was invited to Milton Keynes, I came back on an overnight visit so that I could wander around on my own. I stayed in a Campanile hotel – a chain I have used in France. The word campanile means bell tower and in my room there was a framed picture of various European bell towers. Underneath the picture was some text explaining that bell towers were where people would come together from the north, south, east and west to find community and new direction and then disperse again. I thought that was a good description of what happens when we gather for worship.
I am quite envious of the evocative call to prayer In Islam and I love it when bells are used to summon people to church. My most regular experience of this is in the Taizé Community in France where the bells ring for ten minutes before the prayer begins. That gives everyone enough time to stop whatever they are doing and make their way to the chapel. I remember being very struck (another good bell word!) by what one of the Taizé brothers shared once about the discipline of responding to that bell three times a day whether you wanted to or not!
I’m hoping to learn how to ring the church bells whilst I am in Milton Keynes – but I fear it may require more mathematical skills than I have! For the moment, I know only that when the rope is pulled, my body and soul are also tugged and a prayer begins in my heart.
- The soup run
On the third day, Milton Keynes gave me sausage rolls and doughnuts!
Every Wednesday evening, our parish are responsible for the soup run. We collect all the leftover food from Greggs and Pret and distribute it to hungry and homeless people at three different points in the centre of Milton Keynes. My job is normally to offer people either a sausage roll or a pasty and an iced or jam doughnut. I have a pair of tongs and some paper bags and I try to make people feel valued and respected by the choice they are offered and the care with which they are served. I’m gradually beginning to recognise some of our regulars and learning their names and listening to something of their story are also really important.
Our District (Northampton) has a Mission Development Plan which encourages all ministers “to give at least one one session (3 hours) per week to community presence and activity outside the church”. At the moment, the soup run is my response to this call. In future, I hope to join a women’s Arabic class at the local mosque! However, I will still continue with the soup run as well because I am not doing this in order to tick a box! I am doing it because I go home every week feeling that I have been in Bethlehem – which literally means the house of bread. I have met Christ in people for whom there is no room at the inn and who are not ashamed to ask for help and show their vulnerability.
I am also hugely inspired by the other people who help on the soup run with me. I don’t make it every week but they are there every Wednesday throughout the year – even if that clashes with Christmas Day or New Year. I’m sure most of us are looking forward to some time off over Christmas but let’s not forget those who will go hungry whilst we feast.
- Concrete Cows and Roundabouts
On the fourth day, Milton Keynes gave me concrete cows and roundabouts – the two gifts that most people associate with this city!
I was reading an article in a local newsletter recently about one of my predecessors at St. Thomas’ Church in Simpson. This man was the son of a Welsh sheep farmer and apparently spent far more time attending to the sheep in the fields than he did ministering to his own flock!
The original concrete cows are now in the Milton Keynes Museum but there is a replica of them in a field only three roundabouts’ away from my manse. I often drive past them but have not yet given them a pastoral visit! There are six of them – three mothers and three calves. They were first created because it was thought that Milton Keynes would be a concrete city where children would never know what a real cow looked like. Milton Keynes actually has an astonishing amount of green space and wildlife so this assumption was wrong. It is true, however, that there is an abundance of roundabouts!
I like roundabouts because, if you are not sure where you are going, you can keep going round and round until you decide which exit you need. In Milton Keynes, if that decision was wrong, there will soon be another roundabout and you can come back again. If only it was that easy to correct some of the other mistakes we make in life!
We now seem to be at a point where some of the effects of climate change on our planet are irreversible. Whilst we may laugh at the idea of concrete cows, our children and young people are well aware that models and reproductions may be all that remain of parts of the living world which previous generations have seen in real life. Perhaps my predecessor had a point? The (natural) world is our parish!
- Cycling
On the fifth day, Milton Keynes gave me a bicycle. In fact, it was Pilgrims Way Church in the Newham Circuit who gave me the money for the bike as a leaving gift – but I bought it in Milton Keynes. Milton Keynes was designed for off-road cycling. There is an extensive network of Redways across the city which make it easy, safe and pleasant to get around by bike.
I first used a bike regularly when my sister started at secondary school and my parents couldn’t afford to pay the bus fares for both of us! I haven’t actually had a bike for over 20 years so I was a bit nervous about getting back in the saddle. It turned out that the saddle on my new bike had not been fitted properly and, initially, it felt more like riding a camel! Once I got that fixed, I was no longer in danger of sliding off the back.
My main aim in getting a bike was to get more exercise – and I expect some of you will have made similar New Year’s resolutions – and have perhaps had new bikes for Christmas. My bike is a simple Dutch-style shopper with a basket. It is not designed for racing or rough terrain – and that’s fine for me! I am enjoying using it explore the many parks of Milton Keynes.
I am not really an outdoor person. My preference would be to curl up on a sofa with a book. However, when I rode the bike back from the shop (which was not my original intention but it wouldn’t fit in my sister’s car!) I felt such a sense of freedom and exhilaration from the wind blowing through my hair. I could feel almost instantly the positive impact on my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.
Admittedly, I will be probably not be doing much cycling in January but as we continue to celebrate the birth of the Word made flesh, I will rejoice in my God-given body.
- Camphill
On the sixth day, Milton Keynes gave me Camphill. There are a number of Camphill communities around the world where people with learning disabilities, mental health problems and other support needs live and work toegther. Camphill Milton Keynes has a wonderful café which serves tasty dishes made from home-grown produce; a very tempting shop selling fair trade items as well as crafts , bread and preserves made on site; and a theatre.
One of the churches in our parish is very close to some sheltered housing for people with learning difficulties and many of them share regularly in worship and other activities at the church. One gentleman always follows the final blessing by saying in one breath: “Go in peace to love and serve the Lord. Tea, coffee and biscuits will now be served.”
I love the writing of Henri Nouwen whose life was transformed by the time he spent in a L’Arche community – started by Jean Vanier – where people of varying ability live, eat and pray together. Nouwen wrote this about Adam – a severely disabled man whom he supported and from whom he learnt so much: “He was a person, who by his very life announced the marvelous mystery of our God: I am precious, beloved, whole, and born of God. Adam bore silent witness to this mystery, which has nothing to do with whether or not he could speak, walk, or express himself, whether or not he made money, had a job, was fashionable, famous, married or single. It had to do with his being. He was and is a beloved child of God.” (from Adam: God’s Beloved by Henri Nouwen)
I also find it refreshing and life-giving to be in an inclusive space where people are free to be their authentic selves and are not trying to conform to what they think is expected of them.
- Ecumenism
On the seventh day, Milton Keynes gave me ecumenism. Milton Keynes has a reputation for being at the forefront of exciting ecumenical work and relationships. I serve in the Woughton Ecumenical Parish where Methodists, Anglicans, Baptists and United Reformed Church members all worship together in five different buildings. I am part of an ecumenical clergy team which consists of two Anglicans, two Baptists and me. We are all very different and it is wonderful to see how our different personalities, passions and gifts complement one another.
I am relishing the fact that I can now fully practice the Anglican understanding of the cure of souls. This means that every resident, school, nursing home etc. in the parish comes under our pastoral and spiritual care. In previous appointments, working on that assumption was often seen to be invading foreign territory! I also love being able to lead worship in medieval buildings on a regular basis. There is such a sense of prayerfulness within the ancient hallowed stone walls. I find deep joy too in being able to offer the gifts of Methodism –such as the Covenant service – to those who have never encountered such treasures before. I also insist on having five hymns at every service even though the Anglican hymn-boards only have four spaces!
The most precious gift for me is the colleagueship. I feel doubly blessed in being able to meet regularly both with my ecumenical colleagues and my Methodist ones. I came to this appointment from a place where I felt quite isolated and I knew that my starting point in building new relationships would be suspicion rather than trust! I have been amazed by how quickly I have felt able to be open and honest about who I am – and that is because my colleagues also feel comfortable and confident about expressing who they are. I thank God for each of them – and for who we become together.
- Trees
On the eighth day, Milton Keynes gave me trees.
In my previous appointment in east London, I lived opposite a park. So I wasn’t deprived of trees. Milton Keynes, however, has so many trees that it could technically be classed as a forest! There is even a Tree Cathedral where the trees have been planted to resemble Norwich Cathedral. Autumn was stunningly beautiful – with a huge harvest of conkers too – and I can’t wait for September to come round again.
In Stony Stratford, an old coaching town just a couple of miles from my manse, there is a Wesley tree. John Wesley is thought to have visited the town on at least five occasions and preached underneath this tree. The original tree actually died of Dutch Elm disease in 2007 and was replaced the following year by an oak tree. Some bark from the original Dutch elm tree is proudly displayed on the wall in Stony Stratford Methodist Church.
Last November, I hosted a group of Russian young people who had been invited to attend 3Gen and we went to visit the Wesley tree. We also got to see the two sculptures of the Wesley tree which local Methodist artist, David Moore, has made. Some people might ask what the difference is between them and a concrete cow (?!) or suggest that we are turning a real tree into a kind of sacred cow. I actually find it really moving – as my Russian visitors did – to visit places where Wesley once was and to remember our roots and the tree from which we were hewn.
The challenge, of course, is to work out what the shoots and fruits of our roots are for today. How does the Wesley tree provide shade and nesting space now? What season of the year are we in? Can we see beauty – even in the death of falling leaves? Which branches are blossoming and which are bare?
- Matinee Day
On the ninth day, Milton Keynes gave me matinee day.
For the last 22 years of my ministry, Friday has normally been my day off. When I realised that my Anglican colleague in Milton Keynes also takes Friday, I decided (rather reluctantly) that it would make sense for me to take another day. I opted for Thursday – primarily on the basis that this is matinee day at Stratford upon Avon and in many London theatres and going to the theatre is one of my favourite ways of spending my day off!
I have discovered that Thursday is much better than Friday as a day off. Firstly, it comes more quickly after Sunday and, secondly, there is longer after it before the next Sunday comes! I am still waking up on Fridays feeling that I have been given a whole extra day which I never had before!
I have been to the theatre – in Stratford upon Avon, London, Northampton and Milton Keynes. I have also enjoyed showing friends around MK and exploring new places with them.
When I do go to a matinee, I sometimes want to go back to the evening performance and watch it all over again! I also wonder what it must be like for the actors to have to repeat the same lines twice in one day and then again the next day and the day after that. I think I would find that rather boring.
I have also been thinking recently – particularly as some churches in my parish have dug out and dusted off their Methodist worship and hymnbooks which they haven’t used for eight years – how important repetition of the familiar can be. There is a tendency to think that we must always have something new and exciting in our worship. I think that needs to be balanced with regular use of what we already know and love.
- Silence
On the tenth day, Milton Keynes gave me silence. When I moved into my manse, it was a month before my internet and ‘phone line were connected and there was also a problem with the aerial so I had no television either. When the television man came, he commented on how quiet my house was! I now live in a cul de sac whereas in London I was living on a t-junction between the hospital and the police-station so there was constant noise from traffic, sirens and people.
Over recent years, silence has become something which I both fear and yearn for. I have talked about my fear in both spiritual direction and psychotherapy at the same time as introducing more silence into my prayer life. I even included on my profile that silence was something I wanted to explore further in my next appointment.
When I sat in my lounge on my own in those first weeks, I didn’t have to seek the silence out at all. It was handed to me on a plate. I was so grateful for that and was almost disappointed when I was finally connected to BT and the BBC!
As well as spending time in silence on my own, I have also valued being in silence with others. My main experience of that has been at Taizé in France and with the Community for Spiritual Formation here in the UK.
I still sometimes try to avoid silence – mainly by reading. That may seem odd as reading is generally a silent activity. It does, however, fill what could have been an empty space with words!
There are days when I sink into the silence deeply and easily. On other days, I find it unbearably long. I remain convinced that the loud call of silence should not be ignored and, slowly but surely, my fear is being turned into love.
- Sleepovers
On the eleventh day, Milton Keynes gave me sleepovers.
In my previous appointment, I was only 30 minutes away (by tube or car) from my nephews. Now – depending on the traffic – it takes at least three times as long to get to them. That means that I can no longer pop over in an emergency but it also means that, when they come to visit, they normally stay overnight. They never did that before! This has given a different quality to the time we spend together. We may not see each other as often but including a sleepover adds a whole new dimension.
Several friends have also come to stay overnight in Milton Keynes and it has been good to have them. I was always very popular in London as free accommodation there makes a huge difference. I actually went though a period when I had to close my doors as I was no longer able to run what felt like a B&B – albeit for friends (and friends of friends….) – alongside a demanding ministry! I am a firm believer in hospitality but there have to be boundaries. I am not expecting to have as many bookings here so it feels more manageable.
Some of us talked affectionately about the Superintendents’ residentials in London as sleepovers! Having a night or two away from home can be deeply restorative – especially when you work from home. Relationships also develop at a deeper level when you spend 24 hours or more together. I have also appreciated time away with Circuit colleagues or other overnight gatherings when we have both worked and relaxed together.
So, I am not complaining that my nephews are now further away. I am looking forward to midnight feasts, face to face conversations that can be continued the next day, and many other exciting opportunities that are rarely possible in a short after-school visit.
- Bletchley Park
On the twelfth day, Milton Keynes gave me James Bond!
After graduating with a Russian degree, I needed to find a job whilst candidating. I was invited for an interview at GCHQ in Cheltenham. I remember having to listen through headphones and write a translation of a speech Boris Yeltsin was making. I was told at the interview that I had done really well at this but then came a question – and an answer – which I knew had instantly lost me the job! “Do you have friends in Russia?” asked the interviewer. Yes – I did! “So, if Britain was at war with Russia, how would that affect your relationship with your friends?” “It wouldn’t!” I replied.
I sometimes wonder what my life might have been like if I had answered that question differently and Bletchley Park – the home of the codebreakers – here in Milton Keynes gives me some idea! Films, such as The Imitation Game have revealed how much we owe to those who work secretly on our behalf – but also what a great strain they are under. It is not all Bond girls and martinis!
We have now entered Lent – a time when I find myself reflecting on the secret burden Jesus carried. He tried to tell his disciples what was going to happen but they couldn’t – or wouldn’t – accept it.
Lent is also a time to reflect on the secret burdens we carry – the sins which we try to hide from others, from ourselves and from God. I am always both shaken and stirred by the truth of the Collect for Purity:
Almighty God, to whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hidden: cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy name; through Christ our Lord. Amen.